i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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