Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
should my penis look like a turkey
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
