Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize