About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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