Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
