u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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