I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and she was petting her beer can
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
