saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
