I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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