I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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