omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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