just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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