whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
