I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
