just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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