WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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