Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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