How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize