so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
