my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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