I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
