Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
