apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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