Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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