I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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