yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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