im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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