I bet he comes in French.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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