is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
