ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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