Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
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