Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize