they need to just BURY HIM!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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