She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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