what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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