I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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