im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Soap is not a condiment
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize