i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
