the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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