Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
