It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
