Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
