he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
