Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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