About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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