i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
