I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
