If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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