If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
