She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
