she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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