Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
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Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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