you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
