I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize