fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
