so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
