i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
