my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
