I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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