It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
