my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
