can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
