so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize