ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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