Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
