Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
