don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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