I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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